Dear toomuch00,
I can’t say i have alot of advice for you but i would like to commend you for your maturity in dealing with the situation. I personally am recovering from anxiety issues. Unfortunately, it took me a long time to face reality with my anxiety and to get therapy. It is a big Chizuk to see someone with enough strength to seek therapy. I can strongly identify with your “brutal” feelings and yet i went for a long time without speaking to someone. Kudos to you! I also went to a CBT and it was extremely helpful. It seems to me that a basic therapy in anxiety is to accept it as a part of life and keep on going. Everyone gets anxious but some of us are very concious of it and it bothers us and makes us feel awkward. But the truth is everyone gets anxious and it is a normal part of healthy living. So it would seem that definitely go on the Shabbaton and take the risk of getting anxious – remember it’s normal. In regard to mentioning to friends, some times you can sniff out a person who understands people well. To such a person you may feel comfortable saying that some times you get nervous and it makes you feel awkward. Who knows? maybe they are also anxious! But really, parents that care for you would probably know best. Hatzlacha!