moredDow, I have worked diligently with at-risk kids in the past and I believe there is no such thing as “bad” kids just kids with bad problems that cause them to go down very destructive paths. I have seen most of the kids I have worked with turn their lives around, both boys and girls.
Having said that I am very upset that you would consider marrying a girl who turned her world around “settling” and yet you are upset if candidates turn you down because they don’t consider YOU on their level. That is quite hypocritical on your part, wouldn’t you say? I agree that girls who have gone through what you did would understand you and appreciate your strength and emunah the best, but that is not what is bothering me about your question. Why do you consider girls who have gone down your path and had the same courage to turn their lives around on a lower madreigah than you are.
I agree with BPT since it is boys such as yourself that helped to drag the girls down to that madreigah. Honestly take a good look at yourself and ask yourself this question “what do you and boys like you owe these amazing young ladies who pulled themselves out of the same black hole you did?” Had you NOT been so “accommodating or encouraging” to them when you were at your low point, you might not be looking down on them as you are right now. So what right do you really have to judge them now or consider them “less desirable” today than they were then?
Although I commend you and respect you for where you are today, please don’t put the girls down and don’t overlook them. Just like any other B’aal Teshuva searches for their Bashert in the Baalas Teshuva pool, don’t think that you should not be fishing in those waters.