“DO NOT SPEAK TO A RAV.”
Whoa-That needs some tweaking.
A respected and experienced rov can be your greatest asset, however choose your rov wisely, because the wrong rov can end up being a resource for your husband and a nightmare for you. Many, many rabbonim get their position because they know how to learn and are strong personalities, and people are enamored by them, but in truth they may lack sensitivity, judgement and sometimes character. proceed with caution, do your research,look before you leap.
If you tell us which area you live in or next to, we can suggest some rabbonim that are qualified for this kind of situation.