Always – GET OUT FAST WITH YOUR KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He IS an abuser! It’s typical for an abuser to be “sweet” at times. That is not his real personality. The abuser part is his real personality.
Don’t worry about ruining his life. He’s already ruining yours and your children’s lives. The way you speak, you sound like a typical victim of an abuser. Trying to make excuses for him. STOP!!!
YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! You must go to the police! A lot of people here are telling you to go to a Rav. The only problem I have with that is that many times a Rav will side with the man. (there have been many such stories) Yes I’m sure many Rabbonim will truly listen to you and do the right thing but you have to be careful. Do you have any family or friends you can confide in? Another good piece of advice I see here is to call the Shalom Task Force.
PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN! KEEP IN TOUCH WITH US. WE CARE A LOT.