hi, you are definitely being abused and by feeling guilty you realize this,
having never been in ur situation I can’t give advice but calling the cops sounds like a start…
I really feel for you and will definitely say some tehillim for you,
also although the words being thrown around above sound scary (shelter, abusive, taskforce etc) you should take the plunge and speak to ANY daas Torah, explain the circumstances as you have written it above and I am %200 sure it will be a good start in repairing YOUR LIFE, YOUR KIDS LIFES AND UR HUSBANDS LIFE
davening for you, thinking about your situation, FEELING FOR YOU