Poppa -“I’m not sure where hakaras hatov comes in. I don’t see why the shadchan has any legitimate reason for wanting to know. I don’t think you have any obligation to fuel the shadchans disgusting snooping habit.”
That is an unfair and cruel statement. Most shadchanim make shidduchim to help people out and it is only menchlichkeit for someone to follow up and let the shadchan know what is going on. It sounds like you had a bad experience with a shadchan but that gives you no excuse to bash shadchanim and make them out to be “the bad guys”.