Oomis – the opposite; if we stand to gain then it’s not chinam. Otherwise it is. “
We stand to gain? By showing we are normal, decent people? We are not falsely flattering them by giving a small gift on the occasion of their baby’s birth. Especially if other neighbors were to give gifts, we would look really cheap, which feeds right into the negative stereotype the world has of Jews. Since we must live with our neighbors, it behooves us to behave in a neighborly way. That includes giving small gifts on occasion.