I agree with her! When I went to a frum bais Yaakov years ago, many of my classmates mothers did not cover their hair fully or were not wearing perfectly modest clothing. Anyone who was interested in learning Torah was welcome. We felt every Jewish shomer Torah person was a treasure, since so many had perished. Today, we are too busy trying to outfrum the next door neighbor, the shul, the school, the neighborhood. Outer costume is NOT an indication of any real commitment to Torah. Yet stupidly we base acceptance on these false criteria. OTD kids are not stupid. They see through the hypocrisy and want nothing to do with it. If we spent as much time on our middos as we did on purchasing the black hat or the sheitel, we would see an immediate decrease in OTD.
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