Being noticed is always better. If a woman picks up the dry cleaning for her husband and he says “I noticed you picked up my suit for me from the cleaners, thanks so much”, she will feel it was worth the trip. If things don’t get noticed a woman also feels taken for granted. If a husband forgets to say “Honey, dinner was delicious, thank you”, how much effort does the wife keep putting into making delicious dinners? After all the husband doesn’t really notice or care, right? He just eats whatever is put in front of him and is never grateful for the effort involved.
My husband recently asked my nephew the chosson what he learned from his Chosson Rebbe. He replied the 3 A’s, “Attention, Affection and Appreciation”. It works both ways.