aries – Thank you so much for clarifying all that. I think I understand that better. But I still don’t think any of my questions were answered. I still however don’t understand why its okay for the friends and family of the victims to be quiet instead of leaving town. Why would the Ohel people agree not to report? So lose your job! And if you don’t, than you are making that same choice to protect an abuser for whatever personal negi’us you have chosen to do so. I personally am not understanding why that is not protecting an abuser. If the victims were speaking out then the bloggers wouldnt have to. If 50 victims spoke, if 100 victims spoke, threats wouldn’t work.They can’t burn down EVERYONE’s houses.
In my experience it has been the families of the victims protecting THEMSELVES who have done the sweeping. It has been the families who want to pretend it never happened, who choose to sit and cry, insisting their hands are tied, instead of prosecuting.I see them as no different then those Rabbis. Although I don’t doubt a single word of what you have experienced, I am not sure why these families and friends can be excused when I have found over again that they are the ones who are really protecting the molesters. I even said as much to a mom who blamed a rabbi for doing nothing, yet she pretended to her public that it never happened! A Rabbi I know has been insisting a certain person be reported to the police but the victims supporters refuse.
I don’t blame the victims for being silent, but, in my years of experience, it isn’t just the rabbis preventing change. People need to get up and tell their stories and name names. When it isn’t true it will have to be dealt with. But the families and supporters and professionals have to stop giving in and claiming that they have no choice. Everyone has a choice. And if someone chooses to be silent and they feel they have good reason to do so, than they should just know that they are no different than the ones being accused.
Sorry about the tone, this is a very sore point of mine.