For whatever it’s worth, in my opinion, it’s unreasonable to think that you can determine the respect that one individual has for another by looking at the way in which he refers to him.
Obviously, if I refer to somebody as “Harav Hagaon XYZ” or “that bum, Finkelstein” this would not apply. But most instances of reference to individuals are not that blatant. Confidence in your ability to read somebody else’s (Rabbi Dr. Lamm’s) mind is a display of unwarranted haughtiness.