Is it feasible to say to a boy I need an answer in a week or the shidduch is off the table for after all you want the girl to go out with someone, not wait for someone to say yes, hopefully, eventually.
No, because it isn’t true. When he wants to date her, he’ll just call up a shadchan and say, “hey, can you call shprintza’s parents and tell them I want to date their kid?”
Would things be different if you mentioned the name to the girl first got her yes, and then went to the boy?
No, because it would change nothing. You would go to a boy, tell him sara wants to go out. He would say, “so does rivka, rachel, leah, bilhah, and zilpah; so I’ll think about it and get back to you if I’m interested.” And when he called you back, you’d better believe the girl would still be interested.
Would it force an answer sooner if he knew that a girl (not just a shadchan) was waiting for an answer?
That it would. In which case, he would say “yes” to bilhah, and “busy” to sarah rivka rachel leah and zilpah.
Really, when guys don’t say yes or no, it isn’t because they are being jerks. It is because the answer isn’t yes or no. It is, “well, it depends what my other options are. I can’t be expected to divide all girls into yes and no, and then go out with the yes girls in the exact order I find out about them.”
And if you don’t like it, become Modern Orthodox. I hear they can change the torah, maybe they can change nature also.