Time for a new therapist. If after therapy you come out with the impression “of course, everything is my fault” then the therapsit is not doing his/her job. Aside from the fact that there are several different therapy approaches, (CBT, Analytical, Freudian, Systems etc..) the therapist’s job is to have you and your spouse discuss things and work on repairing the relationship, not focus on where to place blame.
You should never give up unless advised to by a therapist(which should never happen) or a competent Rav experienced in these matters.
Hatzlacha Rabbah