Reply To: heavy topic

thanx for everyone for your encouraging words. its good to know that most of you think this will pass and that im relatively normal. i just want to clarify something. when i said that i do bad things, i realize people might take that the wrong way. i try to be good! really! i just cant help thinking that if c”v i dropped dead, i wouldnt want them to find me with a james patterson book in my hand. not that theres necessarily anything wrong with it, (maybe there is, maybe there isnt,) but for myself, i wouldnt want that to be the last thing i would be doing. so either i can stop, which might be ideal, but is really hard. or i can stop my thoughts, which i dont want to really, cuz in a way, its bringing me awareness. like, i never really thought of death before and olam haba and anything like that, but at the same time its not so normal to be walking around with thoughts like mine.

and yeah charlie, i noticed that too and was wondering…