cinderella –
You aren’t being hypocritical. You are simply putting yourself in her position.
It’s not a question of being too late. First of all, it’s never too late. Kids will always retain the memories of the people who cared for them and it will come back to her. Second of all, talking religion to her is not healthy at this point in her life, in my opinion. Because if she feels like you are just out there to proselytize her she may develop a negative impression and negative memories. She wants a friend, I say give her what she wants. It won’t be for naught. At the very least she’ll develop a respect for religious people that might make that when her own child is looking into his roots she won’t prevent him.
I am putting a strong disclaimer on what I am about to say – check with a competent rabbi before accepting this halacha. I am only saying it so that you should know that it isn’t something to dismiss without even asking.
Here is the halacha with some background: For a man to shave off his own peyos with a razor is two issurim d’oraisa – 1) He is doing the shaving, and 2) He is aiding in the process of having himself shaved. This is called ???? and ????. If a woman shaves off a man’s peyos and he does not aid in the process, neither are chayav. But both have an issur d’rabbanan. R’ Akiva Eiger* writes that if a woman knows that a certain man is going to shave off his own peyos, it is mutar l’chatchilah for her to do it for him, because even though she is helping him do an issur d’rabbanan, which is normally assur for her too, in this case she is saving him from doing worse – being chayav on two counts.
Therefore there is reason to believe that it would be proper to give this girl advice which is against halacha, if it will prevent her from doing worse things. But again, you must check with a competent rav before taking such advice.
*Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 181:6