If it is permitted I would like to shift the discussion a tiny bit. It is clear that from almost all halachic perspectives some kind of hair covering is an obligation. Whether it is a wig, a hat, a kerchief, that is detail. Hair covering is incumbent. Like many other mitzvos, many of us are or were less than perfect in observance of it.
What I don’t get is the perspective derived from this that says if a married woman doesn’t cover her hair all the time she isn’t to be considered frum, her kashrus is not to be trusted, her kids are not to be played with, and her contributions to the wellbeing of the community are to be diminished, downplayed, or ignored.
Unfortunately, I have seen this happen. Women who have been the pillars and foundations of local chevra kadishas – for all, from the frummest to the least observant – for decades; women who have been moser nefesh for yeshivas and social services within the frum and broader Jewish community; women who have founded and run chesed organizations with no expectation of reward or recognition – these women have been marginalized in recent years because, in large part, they have not always covered their hair.
I have to ask – do we do this kind of cheshbon on those who are less than perfect in observing other mitzvos, in business, in bein odom lechaveiro? DO we investigate whether those we interact with observe shatnez k’das v’din, an issur gomur mideoraiso?
Can we recognize these women for the pillars of many communities that they are, even if they don’t measure up to halachic standards on this issue?