Yaela:
The Torah is perfect, we are not. When our time comes for a din and cheshbon the only question we are asked by the Ribono shel olam is why we did not fulfill our obligations. Each of us are fully and totally responsible for our actions. Covering one’s hair in addition is a constant reminder like the the yarmulke, we are so much and H-shem is the rest, in addition the request from H-shem is for one to be modest, display of a woman’s hair is considered part of her beauty which is meant only for the pleasure of her husband and no one else. Serving H-shem is a privilege and not an obligation, Torah is a way of life not a religion. You are covering your hair for yourself and derech agav your hubbie.
Good luck in your avenue of pursuit of your feelings and
Torah obligations.