m22
Firstly, let me reiterate that I think you did a great thing how you handled your situation. You definitely gave your child a great chinuch by discussing what you’d like to do differently.
Secondly, I think it’s a good chinuch to let your child learn a behavior’s consequences. Give him calmly the broom and dustpan to clean up the mess.
-Everyone has midos which need improvement. This is a major goal to accomplish in this world. Never accept the level where you are, always aim higher.
-You may find it helpful to read R Zelig Pliskin’s book Anger, the Inner Teacher.
-Know what your triggers are that make you more angry (lack of sleep, poor nutrition, a challenge to your ego, lack of support, unresolved issues, not enough alone time, etc.)
-Have a plan in place for when you begin to feel angry (deep breathing, time out, exercise, sense of humor, get support, put on music, etc.)
-See your relationships as opportunities to improve this middah
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“I feel like we were created a certain way, and then given the mitzvah not to be that way (not to sound apikorsodik).”
You were given this middah to work on, not to keep as is!
-Both Esav and David Hamelech were given the same characteristics: red, murderous, etc. Yet look how with identical angry characters, they each CHOSE their own path in life.
-Both Bilaam and Moshe Rabbenu were given similar characteristics, but they channeled their characteristics differently.
You are on your way to change your spiritual and physical health!
Hatzlacha raba!