Reply To: yes another shidduch question

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#814667
trak443
Participant

There is NO rush at this time, HOWEVER, if you get married at 25? 28? 30? are you going to feel it was because you didn’t give it the proper attention at this stage in life?

Do your hishtadlus! That means davening that you two meet at the right time, and keeping your eyes and ears (and mind) open so you don’t miss each other when it happens, not necesarily making yourself (and those around you) crazy because you haven’t spoken to a shadchan in 20 minutes.

As for what gezunheit meant in his (her?) post…..

Sometimes girls leave the “cocoon” of all frum environments (BY, seminary…) and when exposed to more secular environments (college, office…) can slowly see their level of frumkeit erode. Slowly. Almost imperceptive at times. Skirts/tops SLOWLY (over a few years) can get a little more trendy (tight/short); not C”V against halacha, but they can beat a slow retreat over time. Arm yourself with a weekly shiur (or similar).

You can often (no, not always) see the differences between a single 23 y/o girl who has spent the past few years in a non-frum environment, vs one who has (for example) been teaching in a BY. Boys ahve the advantage of either being in Bais HaMedrash p/t or f/t, or just having a nightly chavrusa, weekly shiur etc… It’s expected.