Reply To: shyness

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mommamia22
Participant

It’s totally normal to be shy. We all experience it from time to time (even the most outgoing). My sister is painfully shy, but I noticed when she married someone she is happy with her personality completely opened up. There are techniques that you can learn to deal with your shyness, if you feel it’s debilitating.

I think shyness is based on fear and being completely “associated” with that emotion.

You might want to try practicing “disassociating” when you’re in a relaxed situation without social pressure. What that means is be aware of yourself as though you are a third party observing workinonit from the sidelines. I think this technique works for anything, including anger. You become an observer rather than the person experiencing it. You’ll be able to practice separating from those fears.

Also, try to pay attention to your (irrational) fears that you are silently thinking. Practice challenging the premise of those fears (ie: “I’ll say something silly/irrelevant and I’ll feel awkward and I will not be able to

handle it”).

Finally, notice in what contexts or around whom you are shy(weddings, meeting new people, group

conversations). You might be able to practice the behaviors of someone who is outgoing (act “as if”), or notice a trend of a topic others frequently talk about which you can learn more about so that you can participate ( notice trends and prepare).

I hope this helps a bit.