Lakewoodbt
I’m not sure I’ve really given up. It definitely slows me down, though.
I think we need a database system that could be used “universally” at all Shuls. Criteria are entered by each member in the privacy of their own homes. Singles can then be asked if their names can be entered in the national database system for orthodox singles.
One of the problems I’ve seen is some people lack the ability to put themselves together (appearance) and project a very poor image outwardly (demeanor, tone of voice, posture, personality/ they whine a lot, etc). Some very good, otherwise eligible, people don’t get dates because of this. They then become very defensive not wanting to change/be changed. The longer someone is “out there” the more vulnerable and insecure they feel. Trying to alter their image, somehow, is taken to mean that they are not good enough. It is perceived as an attack on them, rather than an attack of the problem. When I was single, I had my first cousin go through my entire closet with me and critic my clothing in order to let me know what I needed to discard that wasn’t flattering for me, versus what was worth keeping. We all have to be open to modifying ourselves to some degree, if needed.