Reply To: can i date a girl without Shadchan????????/

I just spoke on the phone to a great Rabbi.

He told me the reason my Rav paskend you ‘need a Shadchan’.

“many Rabbanim nowadays have established ‘fences’ and ‘decrees’* to counter the prevailing licentiousness and immoral atmosphere that pervades our society . 50 years ago these decrees and fences were not needed, for example people had black and white T.V’s, now people see it in color. If people nowadays would seduce women for marriage with no Shadchan, much worse aveiros could happen. The Rabbanim our ‘street wise’ they can see the roads ahead, and what needs to be done to counter any failure.

I’m sorry for all misleading you that it is a Minhag, it is more of a decree and a fence.

*see Rambam where he says in every generation the Rabbanim make ‘minhagim (customs), geziros (decrees) and siyugim (fences) and they must be obeyed, Rambam derives this from Chazal e.g. (b’yomim hahem in Sanhedrin and sugim b’shoshana in Eruvin (hedge of roses, fence to transgression)