The gemara asks the question, if “40 days before a child is born a bas kol comes out and says bas ploini li’ploini” so then why is “kasha zivuggim (to the Riboino Shel Olam) mi’Kriyas Yam Suf”? And the gemara answers “kahn b’zivvug rishon, kahn b’zivvug sheini”. A zivvug rishon (original) is based on what a person has potential to be when he is born and a zivvug sheini is based on what actually became of these two people and for that it is kasha mi’kriyas yam suf.
The whole concept of looking for zivvug (bashert) is wrong, a person has to find ANYONE with whom he can live with, share in his hashkofos, accept his shortcomings, happy with his accomplishments, proud to be his associate, willing to put up with his mishigasin etc.
It is quite known that the Steipler said that in all of Lakewood only two people married their zivvug rishon!!