mommamia22- We all feel your pain. We have all had times where we compare ourselves to others. Just to echo what has already been said, the grass is NOT greener on the other side. HKBH gives each person nisyonos, some all of us can see, others are private.
That said, after reading what you wrote “I feel like a drowning person who can only gasp for air before the next tidal wave washes over me, threatening to overcome me” I think you may want/need to seek help from a psychologist experienced with dealing with depression. If these feelings persist and interfere with daily life you may be clinicaly depressed.
Hatzlacha Rabbah… and remember, Hashem hears every tefilla.