We in the CR feel your deep pain.
I heard a shiur (maybe someone here may know whose) where the rav said that it’s the ??????’s modus operandi to get his victim make comparisons with another when he can’t get one to be ???? on the more typical ?????? . He will try to get you down & depressed, which may be precursors to future aveiros ch”v. Certainly it makes it more difficult to accomplish ???? ?? ?? ?????.
“a child who now has academic issues, social issues, behavioral issues”
This may be related to the fact that your child lives with abuse, so this may be tied in to your point of a difficult spouse. Many things will probably be related to it, as it says that the ????? has difficulty resting in such an atmosphere.
You have the strength of self to be reaching out, improving yourself, keeping the ?????, doing your best, etc. Remember your strengths as you meet your challenges.