Hi,
I moved to NY (from further away than the mid-west, but that’s another story) and I would like to dispel some myths about moving to NY as a single:
1) It takes a VERY long time (think at least a couple of years) to get settled, get to know some families in the area and get to know enough shadchanim well enough that you have a network of people to suggest shidduchim/be references/check potential dates out for you on a regular basis.
2) Yes, you may have more dates if you live in NY, but while I’ve found that the quantity of my dates may have increased, the quality definitely has not. On the other hand, being here does make the actual dating much easier as you don’t have the pressure of whether or not to fly (or make the other person fly) each time you decide whether to go out again- it’s one factor (and stress) less that you have to deal with.
3) Living here as a single can be (esp in the beginning) horribly lonely- even if you come and live near a family that you know or relatives. If you decide to come, make sure you have some families that you are comfortable spending time with and some single friends who will introduce you to their friends/families etc. Times like Purim, Chanuka, Erev Y’K, Erev Tisha B’av can be especially bad as people don’t really think to invite singles and it’s when you miss being a part of a family most. Moving away from your family is a BIG adjustment- moving to a new city is also a BIG adjustment- doing those two at the same time is not easy…
There are many singles in the NY area, but most of them work or are in school and don’t really have that much time to hang out.
Don’t get me wrong, I see my friends and we get together for nights out, shiurim or just for a walk or a shmooze- but it’s not the same as living with your family.
On the flip-side, there are many many singles (unfortunately) living here and there is much more potential to meet new people and make new friends and network and yes, every so often- have a really good ole’ time with them!
BTW- just my thoughts on the posts about having Emunah and Bitachon- My move here had little to do with that, on the contrary, I decided to move here because I fully believe that HaShem is fully capable of sending me my spouse wherever I am in the world. So I decided that if He has decided that I’m gonna be single for a while, I might as well enjoy it- so I moved to NY as I figured that is the best place to be single!
Re: OOT vs in NY- I don’t think it makes a difference which community you live in as long as you are in the tri-state area- they all have their pro’s and con’s.
Just my two cents 😉
Good luck with the decision!