WIY:
Thank you for bringing this up; it is a very important issue that we absolutely must work on. Remember, there is no kaporah for Chillul Hashem…
mikehall12382:
“I beleive Rabbi Hillel said it best…”What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation of this–go and study it!”….. “
Sorry for being nitpicky, but Hillel was actually not a Rabbi. Just thought I’d point it out.
WIY:
“Most people are not open to being told that they did something wrong and I can’t go over to every person and “straighten them out.”
First of all, there is chiyuv of hochaich tocheach es amisecha even in a case where you are not sure the person will listen to you (as I have pointed out numerous times).
Secondly, even if the person does not listen to you, any observers will be shown that we’re not all lazy slobs, and that some of us do care about those around us.
Adorable:
“but remember as a whole we are a group of good people who make mistakes. i feel like there is a lot of “jews” bashing here lately.”
Mod 80:
“yes there is a lot of Jew bashing in the Jewish world in general, something which is close to non-existent in other cultures. we have become a nation with an inferiority complex. generally the less religious the more Jew bashing.”
You guys are right; nothing productive comes from bashing frum Jews just for the sake of bashing frum Jews (which is all too often the case). However, I don’t think that’s the case here. WIY was not doing this for the sake of bashing; he was pointing out a very real problem so that the members of the CR would be aware of it and try to stop it. He was giving out some constructive criticism, not just negative bashing.
inspiredteen:
“I live out of town and I have to say that when I am in an “in-town” community, the things mentioned above drive me crazy. When in a restaurant out of town and I take my tray and put my stuff in the garbage, people look at me like I feel off the earth!!!”
I think I live pretty in-town (Monsey), and not only do I clean up after myself in restaurants all the time, but I would say that it is the norm to do so here.
kol daveed:
“we need to recognize that the only individual we can control is ourselves.”
I simply don’t think that’s true. We can and should influence others to act appropriately as well. Kol yisroel areivim zeh la’zeh, we are all responsible for each other.
“Moreover, the most effective way we can change others is to first change ourselves and serve as an inspiration for others.”
That is definitely one effective way to change others, but far from the only way.
“I believe it’s said by the saintly Chofetz Chaim ZTL that as a young man he wanted to change the world, then resigned himself to only changing Poland, then Radin, and finally only himself. Yet, in perfecting himself, he revolutionized Radin, Poland, and the world.”
“when we Chas v’Shalom see one of our own fall, we need to give them the benefit of the doubt and think maybe on their madrega, this action simply wasn’t one of bechira (for more on this refer to Michtav M’Eliyahu – R’ Dessler).”
Agreed. However, we must try to raise our collective bechira-point in regard to this particular issue.
“There’s a story I read of a BT who years before returning to Yiddishkeit witnessed a few Torah Jews walking together on Shabbos. He how happy, fulfilled, and at peace they were. That small insight into what a frum life should be was enough inspiration for this man to change his own life and come back.”
I would assume that there are far, far more BT stories that result from active kiruv. The bottom line is that while leading by example is one way of influencing others, actively influencing others is far more effective.