These stories reminded me of the kids of a friend of mine.
I remember telling someone else about these kids. I said they start their terrible twos at 18 months. The person asked how long it lasts. I replied, “I don’t know. The oldest one is only 13.” BTW, he is now grown and is a rabbi.
I remember the day one of the kids “decorated” a bedroom door. At least it wasn’t a window.
And there was the Shabbos two of the kids emptied a container of peaches in heavy syrup onto the floor and then rolled around in it.
If you can afford it, you can get wallpaper that is meant to be drawn on. That might help a little.
In the meantime, thank Hashem you have kids. There are many of us who would be grateful to have your challenges.