So the first date is very formal and the girl dresses for it. The second date he is still wearing a suit and hat and things are “iffy”. The third date they decide to go casual. She puts on a funky skirt, ties her hair up in a pony tail and wears pink flats. He wears a nice sweater and slacks. They go out and have some fun and look at each other in a different light. Is this the same girl I had two dates with? She actually has some spunk to her. Is this the same stuffy guy wearing the levush, he actually knows how to laugh and tell a joke? Yeah there might yet be some chemical reaction in the works.
I am just saying that sometimes it happens right away and sometimes you have to give it a chance. But many times in shidduchim, one or the other does not give the prospect their full attention or a real opportunity to see if it will work out. They have someone in the wings, they are comparing to someone else, the mother already said yes to the next, whatever it is, they just use chemistry as an excuse. That is a big shame.