Health, yes people who are not in your situation shouldn’t judge. From what you said, your divorce was complicated. I really hate it when people try to come up with their pshat for divorce, and assume they know everything, when like you said leave the chesbonos to Hashem. I don’t think any of the posters are trying to be insensitive to your circumstances.
But I’m sure you’ll admit that you don’t regret your children… Though your situation might have been avoided, obviously if it happened, there has to be some reason. You seem like the kind of person (from me observing some of your posts) that will find that silver lining, even if it’s not apparent, and won’t point blank say that there was no gain.