BPT – “The husband in this case refuses to cooperate. Even so, my vote is to give him the choice to work on himself, or at least try.
10 years is a long time to be tolerant. And the kids are seeing this neglect, so that is only poisoning them to the bargain. If he does not want to be an active partner, its his doing, not ours, not hers.
If he has not taken his responsibilites seriously till now, its doubtfull he will turn a new leaf at this age.
Proffesional help will delay the process, and cost $$$.”
Talking about not being Dan L’caf Zecus!
How do you know -“he refuses to cooperate” because the wife says so or because the wife said the Rov said so?
How do you know – “If he has not taken his responsibilites seriously till now” because the wife says so or because the wife said the Rov said so?
“Proffesional help will delay the process, and cost $$$.”
If you take all her comments at face value, then you MIGHT be correct. I know there are always two or three sides to every story. The best advice is to seek marital counselling and perhaps for him to go to his own therapist and psychiatrist! Ten, twenty, fifty years are long times, but if he suffers from mental illness and never got treated -doesn’t mean the treatment won’t help! It’s never too late to change. And sometimes a person needs professional help to facilitate this change. Throwing him out with the trash will cause more problems than trying to do whatever possible to save the marriage!