Ilovetheholyland: i’m not quite sure what your asking as an oxymoron but there are men who balance their working and learning schedule. the problem is they are all married. out there somewhere<em/> these guys have “younger brother” (thats the only way i can think to say it).
and why would it be a “waste” for you to marry a learning boy if you dont have a preference? if any thing, its NOT a waste because you have a choice betweent the two, and you can ultimately choose the one that works for you. 12th grade and seminary were real eye openers for me in that i realized, i dont have the mentality (or family support both financially, or emotionally) to marry a working boy.
and as one of the previous posters said (might of been yossi, not sure) some one has to be the zevulan to the yissasschar. BE”H we will all find our zivugim, and may we not fall discouraged from all the negativity that sorrounds us because of our choices.
PS. thank you goq for opening this thread