MIddlepath, marriage is NOT about taking it is about giving. Both parties need to be aware that if they both give 100% then they both get 100% and never have to worry about it. If you are always concentrating on your partner’s need and not your own then you are both going to to be fulfilled because each of your needs will always be met.
When partners concern themselves with their own needs, and “What about MY needs?” “What about what I want”, that is what they concentrate on the most and forget that their job is to take care of their partner. Everyone is busy waiting for the other person to “GIVE” and are in a holding pattern because all they are concerned about is themselves. This causes a tremendous amount of hurt and frustration. Which leads to huge Shalom Bayis issues. However when you concentrate on giving and how can I satisfy my partners’ needs and how can I fulfill my partner? Then both are always taken care of, respected, and fulfilled.
As far as saying “I’m sorry”, there is nothing wrong with apologizing to keep the peace. However a true apology is one that is sincere and not just a “bandaid”. In other words, if you one has to offer a sincere apology for a real issue or a real hurt one caused another person it would have to be something along the lines of “I am sorry that i …………….and I hurt you. I will be careful not to do it again”. That is a sincere apology.