DY,
I am NOT saying that the OP does not deserve to get compensated, and I am not saying that she should not get compensated. I am saying that there is nothing she can do or should do at this point. She did her job. Yes, EVERY SHADCHAN HAS to get paid and DESERVES to get paid. But that mitzvah and that INYAN falls on the shoulders of the families involved. It is NOT the job of the shadchan to collect the payment unless there was an payment agreement before hand. That is what I am saying, so please understand that and don’t try to twist my words and read anything else into it.
A professional shadchan has a contract whether verbal or written. The finances are discussed and agreed upon at the first meeting before any work is done. There is no opportunity for miscommunication as far as financials are concerned.
I have never heard of any non-professional shadchan persuing a family for non-payment of a shidduch.
Of Course, I did NOT say you are wrong. I am agreeing with you. You should get compensated, you are supposed to get compensated. It is wrong if they don’t compensate you and there are dire consequences if they don’t. That is what I said. I don’t understand what you don’t agree with me about. Do you want to confront them about payment? Do you feel you should? Do you feel it is your job to go after payment? And by the way, there is no “going” rate. People give what they feel like giving, what they can afford to give or what they “think” the shadchan would appreciate. Payment according to the “rules” does not have to be more than a dollar, that is considered payment. Of course that would not be nice, but that is the truth.
It is very clear cut. The Shadchan has a huge mitzvah for making a shidduch. On the other hand there can be very bad consequences for a couple who didn’t pay the shadchan.