The inyan of paying a shadchan is huge, even to the point of fertility issues. But the onus is NOT on you to collect. That is out of your hands. The ONUS is up to them to pay. My daughter told me that her Kallah teacher told her that it was very important to pay the shadchan before walking down to the chupah. She made me nuts, literally. My nephew was the shadcahn and we bought them a beautiful silver vase @ $1,000. We usually buy silver because it is usually friends or acquaintances that made the shidduch. For my younger son, I found a beautiful sterling tea set for the shadchan, there was only one shadchan for both, so the mechutanim and I chipped in for it. The shadchan couple were in shock when they opened the box. Don’t get too excited, we got a very, very good deal. But, on the other hand, they in their 30’s had a sterling tea set.
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