you are all feeding off each other. suggestion: stop having your little “my wife is worse than your wife” loshon hara sessions. make a decision – do you want to spend your life with the woman that you married or with your buddies…
disclaimer: 1) I know nothing of your situation I am only commenting on how what you are currently engaged in is dangerous. 2) “yes we tried seeing someone totally useless” this time try going to someone useful!