Reply To: My Two Moms

i missed this week >.<

the editor assigned to me wasnt in at all and hadnt answered my emails…GRR i can still POSSIBLY make regular ami this week, but most likely part 2 will be next week if at all.

and yeah, bpt, exactly. i was only able to identify with the whole matzav and my grandmother falling apart when around 2 months after all this started i fell apart for 2 weeks. i walked around looking at the ground, tears in my eyes all day. i did not know what my future would be because i had essentially lost my mother and grandmother and felt alienated from the rest of my family.

i tried to “pull myself together” but it just wasnt possible. i can attest to the pain caused by depression. its not just “all in your head.” i felt actual physical pain in my head an limbs. i couldnt eat, couldnt sleep, going to shul was an absolute nightmare. i didnt want to be around anyone, i didnt want to go anywhere. which was a problem because i was still in high school…i missed a LOT of school after that. yeah…its tough. i didnt see anyone about what i was feeling and that basically led, for the next two years, to me being a very cold callous uncaring and unemotional person. even now im not as emotional as most people are.