Reply To: Who needs to change?

You’re right, there are other issues. My husband doesn’t go to shul (except on shabbos shacharis, when we drag the whole family to make sure he goes and the kids see), doesn’t daven at home, doesn’t put on tefillin. I spoke with a rav and was told to bud out. I also discussed the above mentioned issue and was asked by this rav if I thought he was being unfaithful. I did/do not. Since that discussion, and because he works till so late, I have wondered, but hope and believe that’s not the case. There have been instances of verbal abuse. I was once told by him after a wedding, that I didn’t belong sitting on the side of the table where I sat (with friends/who are thin) but rather belonged on the other side of the table with the middle aged obese women. I was speechless. He doesn’t talk to me like this all the time, but when he does, I can’t believe what I’m hearing.. I never grew up like this. Part of what keeps me from walking is I am unemployed, have very young children, one of which has special issues. He is a very loving father, and I don’t believe anyone would have the patience he has for our child’s needs. I keep postponing walking out, thinking if I just lose enough and save enough, either things will improve or I’ll be in a stronger and better position to help myself. But with this weight setback, I’m beginning to wonder if I set myself up to wait endlessly, until I’m too old to make a life for myself.