I had an experience in trying to help someone be mekareiv someone else, and it had disastrous results for me. A friend was getting married and having a very small Shabbos Kallah, to which she invited one of her non-religious female co-workers and me. I was specifically invited to serve as an additional frum female role model for this girl (who happened to be a very sweet person, btw).
We were shown to our respective rooms after we finished talking for the evening follwoing the Shabbos meal. I noticed that the girl turned her light on. Not wanting to make her feel bad for doing something that the hostess had actually asked her not to do, I asked her if she would be able to sleep with the light on, and of course she told me it would not be a problem ebcause she would just turn it off again.
Big shot tzadeikess that I was,out to save the world one neshama at a time, I offered to switch rooms with her so she would not turn out the light, which I reminded her our hostess didn’t want her to do. She agreed to the switch – and then she turned the light on and off in MY former room, ebcause she needed it “just for a second.”
So here I was in a room with a bright light on all night, she turned the light on and off in the other room anyway, AND to add insult to injury, there was absolutely no heat in that room, which was more like an indoor porch. It was December, and about 30 degrees. I caught a really bad chest cold that night. That was not the bad part.
The bad part was two days later, when my Bubby who lived with us, caught my bad chest cold, and almost ended up in the hospital because of it. No good deed goes unpunished (fortunately I do not really subscribe to that belief).
Kiruv takes a lot of hard work and should not be viewed lightly. Not everyone is capable of or the right shaliach to be mekareiv another Jew to actually become frum. All we can hope to do is set the right example, be menschen to them and to each other, and hope it rubs off enough for them to want to search further. That is exactly what happened to my husband some 40 years ago.