However, I do disagree with number 3.
That’s exactly why it had to be mentioned even though it should be common sense!
Let’s say we have a guy who has a dark secret that he doesn’t want anyone to know. His Rebbe suggests that he go to a shadchan that deals with singles that have sensitive issues.
Is it fair for you to throw his name around (which will ultimately lead to the secret being exposed) because you got his name from a yeshiva list, picked it out of a hat and want to make some money? Unless you got explicit permission, either by them asking you to put their name on a list or by you asking them first, you shouldn’t be mentioning their names.
When I was in my low 20s I spoke with my Rebbe about when a good time is to start dating. He suggested that I wait another year, despite many of my friends getting married, because I was doing good in learning and had a heavy college load. Some shadchanim got my name from a yeshiva list and gave it out to numerous potential dates (without my knowledge) and my friends where getting calls asking if I was “normal” or what was “wrong” with me that I hadn’t started dating.
It got to the point that my mother jokingly asked me to date one person just so that she could say I started dating!
You may also disagree with me on this, but I feel that a shadchan should first ask the guy if he wants to go out with the girl (assuming the shadchan has permission to give out the girls name), and only after he agrees should his name be given to the girl.
If you explain what you meant by
And as far as number 4,theres’ nothing wrong with some advice from an outsider!
I can try to discuss it with you.