Dear Bombmaniac,
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had to experience so many difficulties at such a young age. In a few years you’ll be at the age of marriage and probably be expected to marry but you should make sure that you’ll be psychologically ready.
Most people did not have dream parents or religious ones. But. We have to be thankful to our parents that they clothed and fed us and to recognize that we would have had no existence if it hadn’t been for them. Our situation could truly have been worse. Some of our issues with our parents will last a lifetime but if we try to be the “one who takes the high road” then we end up being happier people. A happy person will be a stable married person. A spouse does not substitute for the relationships that you might be craving for right now.
My suggestion for now is to find opportunities to help other people. This will make you more attractive for shidduchim prospects. Right now you got a lot going against you in terms of being “prime” material. I used to think that my situation was hopeless in this regard but in the end Hashem took care of me in His own special way. He of course will take care of you. Just pretend that you’re Rabbi Akiva (or Rabbi Zusha – one of those) in the story where the village will not accept him. He only learns much later why he couldn’t be in the mainstream and he sees that Hashem saved his life.
Always have a positive attitude. Put up with your Rabbis if you feel sometimes that they don’t truly understand you. Don’t get frustrated and if Chas v’ Shalom you’re made to wait until you’re 30 to get the proper partner just be grateful to Hashem for your very special existence in His Creation.
You really have nothing to worry about but you do have a lot of work to do until you completely grow up.
Best of Luck,
LSH