shlishi,
Once we’ve agreed that Chaza”l’s position is not universal, we can discuss who is or isn’t excluded. I happen to agree that some people misapply it, but some people really will only make another person suffer if they marry.
ilovetheholyland,
Who says that Chaza”l (Sotah 2a, BTW) applies to everyone? Maybe it only applies to those who do have a “bashert”?
It is also apparent in some of the meforshim that one can, through his choices, follow a path different than the bas kol.