adorable: I went through something similar to the situation you describe. Those weeks were sheer torture. I felt as if somebody has torn out a chamber of my heart. The healing process was painful and took a lot of emotional strength. What was most helpful to me, was a listening ear. No, you don’t have to fully understand what that person’s going through (if you do, then great). Try not to interrupt her when she unburdens to you. Just simply listen. Please don’t tell her she should stop thinking about him and move on. When anybody loses a close relative, the Torah tells us to sit shiva and discuss the niftar. Why don’t we just tell them to move on? Why do we dwell on the fact that they’re no longer here? Because it’s just impossible to “stop thinking” (as many “considerate” people advised me to do). We do think about them.
BUT, we also have to learn to move on. Gently, try pulling her back to reality. Take her out to eat, go shopping etc.
In my case, my friends were very anxious that I turn into my usual self and just go on with life. Thanks to that, my healing process didn’t take too long but was very, very painful. B”H, I’m now over with that (although there are still some fresh wounds and bruises).
She knows she’s done the right thing. Try giving her chizuk, share your thoughts on the matter(you can reiterate your point a million times – she wants to hear how harmful and dangerous it was), and just be there for her. That’s what mostly counts.
Hatzlacha Rabba.