Actually, GAW, I disagree with the “like yourself.”
DH and I have very different ways of attacking our household responsibilities. It took us a while to realize this and come to an understanding. We discussed our differences and I realized that if I want him to truly appreciate my efforts, I should start with his list (also important tasks that needed to get done) because he would feel like I was accomplishing more. For example, I would clean the bathrooms before putting away laundry, but he would want laundry done first. Both needed to get done, but one made the house appear more orderly, and that was important to him.
Both of us try to show appreciation on a daily basis. I thank him for things like taking out the garbage or doing laundry even though they are part of his responsibilities to the family. He likewise thanks me for my efforts. Its simple, but makes each of us feel appreciated.
So, treat your spouse the way they want/need to be treated. Ask the same of them.