I totally understand where these parents are coming from. As Jews who focus on how to raise our children to best serve Hashem,the graduation ceremony is an important part of chinuch banos and we need to emphasize its importance to our children so that they will grow up recognizing that these are the things that Hashem wants from us.
Why don’t people really understand “???? ????? ????”? That ????? which comes from the word meaning “separate” can only come to those who separate themselves in moderation. There needs to be moderation. The ???? clearly meant that we should only separate ourselves, sometimes not always- moderation is the key.
The biggest proof that ????? is only in moderation is because that is what a chassidishe BY does and what some people did growing up. And other such stories. Obviously if they did it, it must be the correct thing to do.
I hope that parents in this situation will not squander the opportunity to teach their daughters about the importance of the graduation ceremony, by staying out of the ceremony to emphasize them that ????? is important to klal yisroel. I really worry about these peoples’ skewed priorities.