Mosherose, if your svara was correct, then nobody should say kaddish for their parents- if they’re in gehinnom, they deserve to be there. Clearly we rachmanim bnei rachmanim don’t say “Let them rot in Gehinnom”. Also,
Rabbi Meir Davened that his rebbe Acher should be accepted into Gehinnom (he was too much of a rasha to even be allowed to purge his soul in gehinnom), and Rabbi Yochanan davened 150 years later that he should be allowed out of gehinnom into Gan Eden. Clearly, we don’t say “he’s a rasha let him burn”.
Wolfish, as for your main question, some years years ago I was in attendance in Israel for a hachnasas Sefer Torah Israel. the person who spoke kept saying how he was a sweet neshama and he was sick for many years. I thought it was a “yenner machala” case. Then I found out from someone who was from the same city as the person in question that it was a suicide case. I was told by my friend who was a gabbai that the yeshiva was reluctant to accept the Sefer Torah. Yet they relented, and we had a hachnanas sefer Torah. I do remember reading that today we assume people are sick in the head, and don’t have the din of me’abed atzmo le’daas. So as always, ask your LOR.