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#763549
am yisrael chai
Participant

mewho, after her parents basically just shook off their daughter’s concerns and invalidating her as a person, I feel it was quite harsh to call the daughter’s lament “bube maises.” It was immediately after your post that the OP felt she needed to leave the CR. The post felt on the geder of ona’as dvarim. You’re correct that “posting here is not helping any” if some people answer with little warmth and support, though this did not have to be the case. Remember, she is our sister….

It is apparent that you had wonderful parents, but it seems from here that this may not be the experience of the poster. It is quite feasible that the poster’s lack of self-confidence and esteem, quite obvious from all the “What do I say” questions, stem from the parents’ inability to meet her emotional needs. I would venture to guess that this would not be the first time that the daughter’s concerns were brushed aside and not dealt with. This is supported by the fact the daughter felt unable to go to the parents for quite awhile and in fact, was concerned regarding her parents’ reaction to her experience.

If so, then this is part of emotional abuse. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon in our circles. Feel free to consult with professionals in this area to confirm.

It is also not uncommon in our circles for people who B”H have not grown up with abuse to disbelieve others’ experiences with it and the fact that it actually occurs.

To the poster, try to find a mentor whom you trust and to whom you feel comfortable speaking. This is sooooo important.