binayeseira:
“i was talking about chocolate and flowers in a marriage!”
Perhaps you were, but others most certainly weren’t. They were talking about throwing money at the girl while dating.
“and i’m not at all saying that it’s shallow to care about looks – most of us do… girls (women, whatever?) are also not always purely spiritual human beings.”
I agree with that – that at the end of the day, externals do have a legitimate role to play in shidduchim. (Now obviously the internals should be the main focus, but the externals are important in forming an attraction.) However, some on the “shidduchim and weight” thread seemed to be disgusted by the very thought of externals playing a role in shidduchim; and I wonder what they would say about chocolate, flowers and the whole “he should throw money at her” concept in general. If looks have no place in shidduchim (which I do not hold), then “wooing” should have no role either.