Silentone, what does your lawyer suggest? Maybe it is time to switch lawyers. There are places where a person can go to get a quicky no fault divorce. Did you lawyer advise you about that?
I am just throwing some ideas out. One thing I do know women do not do well with patient men who ride out the waves. So if you do have a visitation schedule at the moment, I would play the patience game as much as possible, and postpone court dates, play it cool as if everything was hunky dory with you and as if YOU were the one that is in control. Put in a motion for full custody of the children and bring in affidavits from your Rabbonim and all others that you went to during the marriage who can show “cruelty” from the side of your wife such as refusing to go to the mikveh and the like. Bring in proof from the Bais Din that you gave your wife a “get” the minute that she asked for it without giving her a hard time which most men wouldn’t do till after the divorce decree and child custody was arranged. Start turning the tables on her where she can fear losing her hold and losing her kids to you and losing everything in her selfish battle against you. Stop being Mr. Nice guy and fight for your life and your right to have one.