“What do we do now? This is widespread. “
Let the kids be self sufficient.
We paid for our wedding out of our own pockets. When we bought a house, my wife’s mother helped us out some, but most of the down payment and the entirety of the mortgage payments are from us. If they can’t afford Lakewood, there are plenty of less expensive frum communities in rust belt cities that would love to have a new family move in. The kids will handle it ok.